After many months, Jaime does yoga and…
1. falls on the floor
2. will never be the same
3. is crippled by sore muscles.
4. is 2 inches taller
Saturday afternoon I set out to cross something off my ever growing resolution list: take a class at the new Yoga. Next on the list is fighting off financial ruin, paying off the credit cards, and disinfecting the litter box at least once a month.
The instructor was everything I wanted in a “spiritual” leader, equal parts hippie, esoteric, nerdy and not in the least intimidating. After a good bit about finding your inner bliss and how not acknowledging the impermanence of things around us leads to disappointment and heart break (too pertinent), we began posing.
I’m not sure if you have ever been in a room filled with people breathing heavily and contorting in tight, organic cotton, but it can be a little distracting. It was very hard to imagine that I was made of clear blue sky and bright, un-blinding light. The poses were another story all together.
I found that when we were called to drop to the floor for “resting poses” I quite literally threw myself to the ground as if bowing awkwardly to the Yoga supreme, most uncomfortably (for both of us.) Other resting poses were publicly awkward, more specifically the happy baby. This pose should not be done in front of anyone, unless they are your gynecologist.
I had more luck with the standing poses. The Warrior was my favorite and once I thought I “nailed” it, I beamed with pride, expecting praise from the instructor. What I did receive was only an adjustment: legs into basically a split, and attitude into the unhappy baby.
I adore yoga. It is a mental vacation, and one I can afford.
I will leave you with my favorite names for poses:
Downward Facing Dog - Adho Mukha Svanasana
Half Lord of the Fishes Pose - Ardha Masyendrasana
Child's Pose - Balasana
Corpse Pose - Savasana
Happy Baby Pose - Ananda Balasana
Cat - Cow Stretch
Cobra Pose - Bhujangasana